Friday, 5 July 2013

Europe Trip 2013

I thought it's time to write about my AWESOME Europe trip, having been back for 5 days already.  I'll talk about the trip from start til finish (if I can remember!) and post some pictures on the way.. mind you, it was a total GASTRONOMIC trip that all the pictures I've taken is of food.. 

So let's start with checking in at the airport... it all went by uneventfully.. checked in a the Business Class counter because I was flying Biz class to KL, then changing to cattle class to London... whereas my traveling buddies were all on Biz class all the way.. Jealous?  No.. I was flying Biz class myself back from Paris :)

It feels like just yesterday when we're waiting in the Golden Lounge waiting to board the plane.. I was giddy with excitement when we finally boarded.. here comes EUROPE BABY!!!  We arrived in Kuala Lumpur about 9.45pm (our flight to London was at midnight) and John took us to the Platinum Lounge straight away (that's right.. Not gold.. but Platinum!) where we were served champagne and sampled the food in the lounge.. not bad at all.. 

We parted ways at the departure gates.. they had no queue going into Biz class whereas us cattle class minions had a huge queue to go through (mind you, we were sitting the A380!).  I got a window seat (thank goodness) and surprisingly, there was no one seated in between me and the guy on the aisle!  (And it was a full flight!)  I always find it surprising how it can be a full flight and there's always an empty seat next to me!!!  The guy was pretty nice, he helped me with my luggage.  Flight was pretty uneventful.. not at all turbulent-y and I managed to get a good few hours of sleep!  Naturally, I woke up for every meal :D The guy next to me was even nice enough to take a snack box for me when I was sleeping!  And he was nice enough not to bother me with chit chat too.. just the obligatory "where are you from" etc.. 

Now here's where it got interesting.. I was on the way to the toilet when I got stopped by a Steward, and he asked me where I'm from, and I said Kuching.. and he said I looked familiar (pick up line?) but I said I never met him before.. so I walked to the toilet.. and on my way back, he stopped me again, asking if I was "pure Chinese".. weird right?  He thought I had mixed blood in me.. and then he asked for my number and my Facebook Account.  He said he'll probably make a visit to Kuching too.. EKK Freaky!  But you know me.. I never know how to say no, so I gave him my name card and Facebook Email address.. but he's a nice guy.. friendly fellow.. 

In what felt like no time at all.. we landed in LONDON!!!!!!!!  Woo hooo.. and here comes the start of  a great holiday!  I was a little worried about immigration (I always am) but we got through with no issues (my sister even took a fast pass ticket for me!) and next thing I know.. we're on a taxi on the way to Julie's house.  Now Julie is my sister's friend whom she met while Julie was staying in Kuching.  Since then.. Julie has moved to London and Paris (yes, she stays in both cities now) and she's hosting us in her house for the entire trip in London AND in Paris!  Well, in Paris, we stayed at another apartment, but nearby to her place!

It was a LONG ride to her house, but we got there at about 7.30am.. and walked out to find food.. only to find that most places were either still closed.. or closed for that day.. so we ended up in a corner deli.. where I had ham and cheese croissant.. which was heavenly.

When time came... we met up with PrincessBling and hubby (who were staying at Cumberland Hotel) at Selfridges and here comes the on slot of SHOPPING!!!!!!! I got a couple of dresses from Karen Millen and FCUK.. then we walked to Chanel where sis proceeded to buy a gorgeous red caviar patterned bag.. I couldn't find anything I wanted.. so decided not to buy anything.. after all, there was more shopping in Chanel in Paris!  Lunch was held in an Oyster and Champagne bar in Selfridges, where we indulged in champagne, oysters, asparagus (me) and other tid-bits.  Then it was on to more walking!

We ended the night having dinner at Goodman Steak House.. where we had a 5kg lobster.. thus starting my love for the crustacean (never really liked it before) and we had gorgeous steaks there too.. we finished a magnum bottle and a smaller bottle of red wine and never felt better!  After dinner, we met Julie at Princess Victoria (a bistro next to her apartment) for drinks.. and I tried to be polite, but I was crashing.. I literally hit a brick wall.. so I excused myself and went to bed.  PrincessBling and hubby who arrived the night before and therefore had a good night's rest.. stayed on and came back to Julie's place and continued drinking until 2am!  Kudos for lasting so long.. but me and sis were in snoozeland by 9pm.

Ahhh.. day 1.. and I'm loving London already!

Monday, 17 June 2013

SPRING LIVE ACTIVE RUN!!

Recently (ie 2 days ago) we had the 2nd Annual Spring Live Active Run, which features a half marathon, a 10km run, 5km fun run and kid's 1km dash.  Since I took part in the 5km fun run last year, I decided to go ahead with the 10km run this year and boy was I glad that I did.  Firstly, I did it for the medal!  Hahaha.. only 10km and upwards gets you a medal.. secondly, I was the 'watcher' for my bro who couldn't run this year.. so it was up to me to gather information on the race and how it can be improved for next year!

Naturally, I HAD to go shopping to prepare for my run... first thing I bought.. a pair of running shorts from Nike!  I prefer it to the long running tights that I had previously worn (only thing I didn't think about, and luckily it didn't affect me.. was chaffing! hahaha)  Second thing I bought was a handphone armband to put my Blackberry Q10, some cards, cash and my car keys in.. beats carrying a fanny pack any day!  Thirdly I bought this awesome wireless Sony Walkman MP3 player!!  In hot pink!  It's so awesome.. just the headphone and nothing else.. no wires getting in the way.


I didn't get to use it on the run unfortunately.. I couldn't put music in it as it doesn't work in Itunes, and you can't rip out of Itunes, which bugs the hell out of me because I paid for the music, therefore I should be able to do what I want with it right?!?!  So that's my purchases ready for the run.

It was really fun.. me and Riv had butterflies in our stomach before the race.. thinking 'oh no.. what have I gotten myself into?!?!'  It was still dark when our race began (6.15am) and we started out really strong!  about 400m down the line, klutzy me tripped over those small speed bumps.. and almost fell flat on my face.. hope nobody saw that.. but we jogged and overtook people.. and I for one wasn't feeling all that huffy and tired and 'lungs will explode if I don't stop now!'  I was feeling pretty damn good I must say.. until the stitch came around 1.5km later.. arghhhh.. I had to stop cos it was killing me!  So as dramatic as I could.. I told Riv to go on without me (think Titanic moment!) and I walked to the water station at 2km mark and guzzled water which made the stitch go away.. I started jogging again but couldn't find Riv anywhere.. so I started my walking and jogging combo.. and running through all the traffic lights, only because motorists were so impatient these days and policemen were getting frazzled by all the honking.. that.. and I didn't want to die crossing the roads.

I came in at an awesome time of 1 hour and 32 minutes! Yeah baby!  That's like a whole 10 minutes off my previous best at the Singapore Standard Chartered Marathon!  It was truly an enjoyable race/run because it took the scenic route through Kuching city.. and it started early enough so that non of us were scorched by the sun.. 

Funny thing was that I came in at the same time as my B-I-L.. I caught up with him at the last 500m (he took part in the fun run) and I was all but happy to walk next to him.. when he decided 'no.. we have to run!' so he pushed me and started running.. so I had no choice but to run together with him.. and it was awesome.. I was so tired.. my legs were burning.. but B-I-L encouraged me and made me go on til we crossed the finished line together.. what an awesome feeling when you finished!


Yes.. I made it.. I got my medal!  (looks like I woke up and forgot to put on pants as well!)  but yes.. that achievement you feel when you receive a medal for it in the end.. it's just beyond your wildest dreams.  And look.. my bib has my lucky number 137 on it :)  I believe that brought me luck throughout my run.
 

These are my colleagues who took part in the run with me.. (except for the Hard Rock lady) and this year, we all did the 10km together.  It was awesome.. real funny when the two colleagues on my either side called me halfway during the run and asked me if I wanted McDonalds (the race goes past the store) and I claimed that I had passed it ages ago.. only then did they realise that I wasn't behind them.. I was in front of them!  Tsk tsk tsk.. guys and their male ego :P

So next year.. attempt the half marathon? :)

 *******************************************


By the way, to the guy who left the comment on my blog about how 10km is NOT a marathon .. dude.. who got your knickers tied in a knot?  Who died and made you the dictionary?  A marathon is 'any long distance race' and frankly.. it's MY opinion that 10km is LONG distance.. but that's just it.. MY opinion.  You can call it whatever you want, and I decide to call it my marathon.  OKAY?  If you don't like it.. don't read my blog!

Thursday, 13 June 2013

So exciting!!!

It's been so exciting, counting down to Europe.. which by the way.. is 5 days and counting!  But many things have been exciting leading up to the big trip as well..

Firstly, I bought my first Anya Hindmarch Murano clutch in Silver Glitter for myself (I've bought Anya Hindmarch as gifts, but never for myself!).. I saw it on theoutnet.com and without a moment's hesitation.. purchased it.. it was a pretty good deal too I must say..


Sorry I couldn't find a better picture of this online.. but that's essentially what her Murano clutch looks like.  It's super bling as well, which PrincessBling absolutely adores.  I've used it once and it's the perfect match with any colour outfit you decide to wear (if you're wondering, I matched mine with purple!)

So what's this theoutnet.com?  Well, it's a branch of net-a-porter.com which sells branded goods (mostly clothes and bags) and theoutnet.com sells what net-a-porter.com cannot sell after a year of listing.  Isn't that awesome?  Well, I better trawl through for more bargains.. and look at what I found...

A freaking awesome pair of Tory Burch off-white ballet flats!  How absolutely cute is that?  Well, the insignia on my shoes are white as well as the inside of the shoes.. but that's how the outside looks like.  It's so adorable.. I'm wearing them now to break them in for Europe trip!  It's so adorable that PrincessBling bought the exact same pair as me.. and we were so excited about the purchase that we didn't even think to buy two pairs at once and save on shipping.. instead opting to have it shipped separately to each of our names.. sigh..  but it was such a huge bargain anyway.. 

And the best thing is that it arrived on our doorstep in 4 days (Working days).. how AWESOME is that?  I'm going to shop on this site more often!  But you have to be in quick though, because things sell out really really fast.. but I took it as a sign cos they had exactly TWO size 7 pairs left!

So that's been my shopping splurge for the last few weeks.. 

Coming up in 3 days time is the Spring Live Active Run 2013 (second year running) and I can't wait for it.. I'll be doing the 10km run this year and it's mighty daunting knowing that I haven't really practiced for it.. things always get in the way of training.. such as Happy Hour :P  but I'm confident in finishing it before 2 hours to get my finisher medal!  Let's hope it's as successful as last years.. in fact, the registration doubled from last year's registration, which is an awesome sign.

And in 5 days.. I board a plane to London, UK.. we arrived early in the morning, but luckily we're staying with a friend so we don't have to worry about checkin times.. Highlight of the trip?
  • Phantom of the Opera on the 20th June 2013
  • Hawksmoor steak dinner on 20th June 2013
  • Outlet shopping on 21st June 2013
  • Eiffel Tower!!!
  • Cabaret show in Paris!!
That's only some of the things that we planned to do in Europe.  I'm so excited!!!!  I feel like jumping up and breaking into a little song and dance.. that's how excited I am.

I'll definitely bring along my camera to document each fantastic moment in Europe and I'll be sure to blog about it upon my return (no way am I bringing a laptop on the journey!)  Let's hope I don't do something dodgy like leave my camera in a cab again! (remember Greece?)

5 days and counting....

Gym has been going great by the way.. am lifting more weights now than before and not feeling half as winded as I used to!  Am definitely on track to get stronger and leaner..lets hope I don't blow it all on indulging in croissants and stuff in Paris!

 

Thursday, 6 June 2013

June already??

My oh my, where has the time gone?  Can you believe that half a year has already passed by?  Where did it go?  What have I done?  Did I achieve all that I wanted to so far this year?  What's looking up for the rest of the year?

  1. Gym, Paleo and weightloss
    I started the gym in January 2013 with a weightloss goal of 10kgs by June 18th 2013.  I started personal training 3x a week and switched to a Paleo diet just before Chinese New Year.  So have I reached my goal?  Well, I haven't loss 10kgs but I'm so much more leaner, toner and stronger now.. I've lost inches.. but hey.. muscle weighs more than fat right? :)
    A part of me have let go of the rigidness of weighing myself.. letting myself believe my trainer when he says that the number does not matter.  What matters the most is the body that you're comfortable in.. in any event, he's promised me a bikini body by the end of the year.  And I've been working so hard for it.. only to be thwarted by several factors...

    BEER.... BEER.... BEER....

    If only not for the constant craving of alcohol, would the weightloss be faster.. I don't know what to do about my drinking anymore.. it's getting worst and worst I reckon, with me yearning to go out for a drink almost daily!  I don't know what it is.. but what I need to iron down is why I really drink.. and why I find the need to drink so often.. I think I need to take a break from drinking for awhile.. especially beer.. if I want that flat stomach.. even my personal trainer has said that beer is bad for the gut.. so what's more important to me right now?  Drinking.. or getting that bikini body?

    Unfortunately for me, my personal trainer will be in the country for another 16 weeks.. minus holidays and stuff.. that leaves about 31 hours of lessons left for me to get that body.. I must push it harder ... get stronger.. get leaner... But don't worry, I'll probably continue with another personal trainer when he goes.. I'm not going to stop just because he's no more here.. although it is much to my dismay.
  2. Europe Trip 2013
    Now this I'm really excited for!  I went to Europe before in 2009 with PrincessBling, AlanHarperIsMyIdol and CryptKeeper and that was fun.. but I was still in a haze, not really myself yet.. having just come back from rehab and getting use to life back in Kuching etc.. not to mention clonazepam has a drowsy effect on you.. so anyway.. I'm so excited to be visiting London and Paris again.

    I'm excited because we'll be watching Phantom of the Opera in London, a Cabaret in Paris, the Eiffel Tower and plenty more.. not to mention this time, I've saved up enough of my own money to go on shopping spree in Europe!  Think of all the things I want to get!  Shoes, bags, clothes oh my!

    I'm also excited to be traveling with family who are a great bunch of people to hang out with.. and I know we'll have fun eating, drinking and shopping our way through Europe.
  3. Bintulu Trips
    I'm pleased to announce here that I'm no longer required to go to Bintulu again for payroll purposes.  I think I'm going to miss it though.. all the traveling..hopefully I'll get to go back one day again.. but not anytime soon!
  4. Studying
    Yes, I've started studying again for admission into Harvard MBA course.  But first, I have to take the General Management Admissions Test (GMAT) before I send in my application form.  I plan to take my GMAT in October and do my application form right after that.. I've set myself a target of 700/800 points so I'm studying pretty hard to achieve that.  It's so nice to find something so inspiring again after a long time and I'm getting excited about studying for it.  Just the thought of getting accepted is daunting and scary but imagine the pride I'll feel if I get accepted!

Well, come to think of it, I haven't achieved much in this half year.. but if you think about it, I've achieved so much in terms of health (mentally and physically) and that's the best I can probably spend most of my energy on.  So what's the rest of the year looking like?  


Well, there'll still be studying for the GMAT, then focusing on producing the best application form I can to Harvard, Stanford, London Business School and University of Bath.  

There's still ongoing training to keep the body that I shall have, a change in lifestyle I hope.. 

Then there's marathons (10km runs to be exact) that I'm participating in this year, starting with the first one being Spring Live Active Run on the 16th June 2013 (just before Europe!), followed by Borneo Marathon in KK in August, then the Penang Bridge Run in November, and possibly the Standard Chartered Run in Singapore in December.

Lastly.. there's the wish to travel.. I definitely want to go back to San Francisco for at least 3 weeks and head down to Lake Tahoe and bunk with my besties there :), I want to make a trip to Melbourne, Sydney and Christchurch at the end of the year (or next year), I want to make a trip to Vietnam in the near future to visit Phong's family again and I would probably make a few more trips to Singapore before the end of the year.

Overall, I think life is good.  I've definitely been blessed to have all these experiences in my life. 

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

What come May...

Ahh.. can't believe that we're in May already.. let alone MIDDLE of May.. So many things has been happening in May.. Firstly..
  1. Month of Birthdays!

    There's already 3 birthdays in my family (Mum, John and Jo), not to mention Mother's Day AND my parent's wedding anniversary.  This year is a big year birthday for my mum and we celebrated in Tom's where we had canapes, champagne, wine, salad, beef ribs/lamb chop/chicken and dessert of chocolate cake from Four Points.  It was an awesome night, with about 38 guests in all.. Happy Birthday Mummy!

    John's birthday was also held in Tom's, where it was themed CAVEMAN (mainly because half the guests invited were on caveman diet!).. that was really fun.. all the girls showed up in animal print dresses (I got mine off Ebay for RM59 INCL free shipping!) and I decided, in a moment in ingenuity.. to go all Pebbles Flintstone and incorporated a bone into my ponytail.. that was an instant hit! haha We had steak, prime rib, salad, soup.. all paleo food.  That was another fun night, with alcohol of choice being Sake.. in all, we cleared 9.. yes 9.. MAGNUM bottles of champagne, with approximately 38 guests as well.

    Jo's birthday was more low key.. we just had mee sua (longevity noodles) in the morning.. I think she'll be having a party this Saturday, but I'm not sure.. I even bought her 10 pieces of steak from Singapore for her celebration!
  2. Blackberry Q10 is out!

    I have been eying the new Blackberry Q10 ever since there was a rumor that one was coming out.  When the Z10 got released, I got more excited because that meant that the Q10 would be coming out soon.. the difference?  Z10 doesn't have the QWERTY keypad which I wanted.. and guess what.. the Q10 just got released yesterday!  I can't wait to get my hands on it.  Will update with more pictures when I get the phone.. but here's a sneak peak on the phone.  Isn't it gorgeous?
  3. Singapore Trip

    I made a trip to Singapore at the beginning of the month to catch up with my psychologist and psychiatrist.. good news is that I'm doing so much better that they can't decide when is the next time that they want to see me!  Which is awesome.. then again, I do know that I'm doing much better myself :)  It's true.. working out does make you happier!  Had a huge shopping spree in Singapore as well.. first off.. I bought a Nespresso machine for my Juice Bar.. I bought 2 pairs of shoes from Nine West (a pair of wedges and a pair of white stilettos), a Zebra print dress (just incase the one I bought from Ebay didn't fit - PrincessBling ended up wearing it).. SGD400 worth of MEAT.. I went with 20kgs and came back with 30kgs worth of personal luggage.. thank goodness for MAS increasing their luggage allowance to 30kg and thank goodness for being an Enrich Gold Card member (I get additional 10kgs).  Below is the picture of the Nespresso machine I got.. can't wait to use it in the Juice Bar.. it will cost around RM2 to make one coffee, so I'm going to charge one cup of coffee for RM4.50 or RM5.00.. depending.
  4. Bintulu Trip

    This .. hopefully will be my last trip to Bintulu at the end of the month.  I'm getting sick of Bintulu already.. not to mention I'm dreading meeting that Black Balding Indian guy who keeps harassing me.. but as my psychologist say, make this a personal challenge to say NO to somebody.. so if he approaches me again, I'm going to say 'NO.. get lost Buster!' hahaha.. except maybe not in that manner.
Well, that's all that has been happening in May.. coming up, there's the Spring Live Active Run on 16th June 2013 where I'll be running 10km.. which means I got to get my ass moving and start training on the treadmill again.  Going to do tabatas Spring.. which means running for 1 minute, 1 minute walking and one minute running, next minute walking.. you get the picture.. going to try for 20 minutes, then up it to 30 minutes so on.  I plan to be doing this every other day and on weekends.  I also want to try my hands on TRX on Tuesday and Thursday lunch time.. yes people.. I WANT THAT BIKINI BODY!!!  I also want to complete the 10km run before 2 hours so I can get the finisher medal! hahahah.. also I want to beat my current timing of 1 hour and 40 minutes.

Also coming up.. is my big trip to Europe!! London, Brussels, Amsterdam and Paris baby!  I can't wait!  I'll be the only one in cattle class on the way to London, but will be flying Business Class back from Paris to Kuching.. I can't wait!  I've never sat Business Class for such a long flight before.. so I'm excited.. and I can't wait to do all the shopping in London and Paris.. eat all the food, enjoy the sights etc.. oh it's going to be fun!

With so many things in line, it's no wonder the time has passed so quickly.. before you know it, half the year is gone and I hope I'm not left with 'what if or why didn't I'.. I've learned to live life to the fullest and to not worry about little things in life.. if it's meant to be, it will happen! :)
 

Monday, 15 April 2013

Back to Studying...

What??  Studying... again??  I know I swore off studying the minute I left University of Canterbury.. couldn't stand the pressure of getting good grades and passing the course.. I for once.. am NOT going to repeat anything!  So when I graduated .. I thought that THAT was the last of it for me..

But I've been thinking lately about getting my MBA (Masters of Business Administration).. so I did some research about it.. and somehow I found the 'Harvard MBA' website.. when it suddenly dawned on me that I'd always had a dream of going to Harvard (maybe it was from watching Legally Blonde!) and I got excited about it.. I had a look at Stanford as well (two Ivy Leagues that I've always wanted to attend) and both offers one of the top MBA courses in USA!  Awesome.. what I wouldn't give to go back to the United States.. I'm in love with California!  Looking deeper.. it seems that I need to get my GMAT (General Management Admissions Test) before applying to the MBA courses.. sure.. no problem.. so I downloaded GMATPrep.. which was an online test that you can do to test yourself.. I was excited.. downloading took FOREVER on the office internet.. and finally.. when I opened the application.. the first question was: if Y = 4 + (X-3)2, then Y is least when X = ?  Holy Mother of *%@($#  What on earth does that mean??  If the entire test was like this.. I'm screwed!  I hated maths, and I was never good at it!  It took me YEARS to understand Algebra.. and then it was easily forgotten after I got my degree and never put to use again!  Oh well, at least it was multiple choice..

So I looked online, and I found this book..

GMAT for Idiots...
 Actually.. I think mine was the 13th Edition.. but never mind.. it's written by the creators for GMAT tests.. which means that it has to be good right?  OMG.. I couldn't wait to open it up and get cracking.

Unfortunately, due to my busy schedule.. I could only really focus on studying on weekends.... and since I now have to work at my juice bar on Sundays, it's the perfect time for me to study (as the gym business is rather quiet on Sundays!).. so if I studied at home on Saturdays and study at the gym on Sundays, I figured I could get 12 solid hours of studying done per week.. and I've given myself 6 months to prepare for the test.. so overall.. I have given myself 288 hours to study for the GMAT.  I'm aiming for a score of 700+/800!  So ambitious right?  

Til now, I have completed the maths questions in the book, but I'm going back through them just to understand it more clearly and learn which formula to apply to the questions.  There's another 3 parts to the exam, which is sentence correcting, data analyzing and essay writing.  Pretty scary stuff.. I've always had a thing for stressing out over exams, and especially results.. and no doubt I'll be stressing over this one when the time comes!  I'll probably take the test in October 2013, just in time for January cut-offs for US applications.

I've also looked at UK..and the best place to go is London School of Business.. and the second best place to go is University of Bath.. they're much cheaper than going to Harvard too.. and University of Bath is only a one year MBA course.. oooo.. all these pros and cons.. how will I ever decide which one to go to?  But then again.. it all depends on which course accepts me.. and it all depends highly on my application form.

Now most people have asked me why I want to do MBA (frankly speaking.. there's not really a need to get MBA when you're working in such a small town like Kuching).. but I say that I want to get it to better myself for the future.. when I'm looking after an organization.. wouldn't it be better if I equip myself with knowledge on how to manage that?  And I see an opportunistic future where things are going to grow bigger and better for Kuching...

So that's my plan for the rest of the year.. wish me luck okay? :)

Sunday, 14 April 2013

5 years ago...

5 years ago.. I was lying in a hospital bed.. my home for 2 months.. having been diagnosed with Anorexia Bulimia.  I was only 46kgs.. skeletal in my tall frame.. 5 years ago.. I started healing.

Hurt as a small child.. teased as a teenager.. betrayed as an adult.. I was heading down the slippery slopes of depression.. see I started working for Project Goth Pty Ltd (later known as Mig33 Inc) in 2005.. I moved to Perth where I knew no one and I for one, found this as a great opportunity to transform myself.  I became the one that needed everyone to like me, the pleaser.. things got hectic at work, being a start-up company.. and I started skipping meals.. first it was just breakfast.. then lunch.. then cutting down on my dinner when I saw the weight falling off.. in one year.. I lost close to 20kgs and I love the transformation of seeing a skinny me.

In July 2006, I moved to Sydney.. where I picked up the gym.. BodyPump became a release for my energy and I felt great after each workout.. best of all.. now that I was living on my own in Sydney, I could eat whatever I wanted.. with no prejudice.  I still skipped breakfast and lunch.. but was gorging on fast food for dinner.. Bodypump kept my weight steady and my body fit... I loved seeing the muscles build up.. the body being fitter and toner.

In September 2007, I moved to San Francisco.. where the gym was not readily available.. so I stopped all gym routines.. my eating habits became more erratic as I would skip breakfast and lunch.. and sometimes even dinner..  by 2008, my work life became unbearable and I couldn't tolerate my manager.  Worst still.. I confided in my ex-boss the things that happened to me as a child.. once my secret was out.. I didn't know where to turn to.. suddenly it became real.. and I had to deal with it.. on my own.. as my ex-boss didn't do anything to help.. I started throwing up my dinner every night to deal with the pain.  by September 2008.. I was going down a spiral of depression.. drinking myself drunk almost every other night to cope with losing control over work situation.. which was my life.  I controlled my food intake even more and purging all my food.. my weight quickly went down.

On Christmas Eve 2008.. I took the first step in seeing a psychiatrist (recommended by my GP).. I was sent to rehab to get over my drinking binges.. and for the first time.. being confined to four walls never felt so safe.. 3 days there and I was crying bucket loads when I had to leave that safety wall.  As we talked about my childhood.. the worst I felt and the more weight I lost.  I was getting blood tests weekly to make sure I wasn't depleting myself of minerals and vitamins.

On 30th March 2009.. my weight plummeted below 105 pounds and I was admitted into Alta Bates Hospital.. being placed in ED treatment.  My home for the next 2 months.. I decided to come clean about my past to my doctor.. Dr Ansai.. and I worked closely with him and all the counselors to get through my past.  I credit them for saving my life.. for helping me through my darkest moments.  Because of them, I started to heal.

It's now 2013.. and it's been up and down... I've mostly conquered ED, although weight is still a big issue for me... I'm learning to deal with my past and to let my walls down.. 

5 more years from now, I hope to be free of ED and free from my past.  I hope to be off medication for depression and I hope to be able to accept my body for what it is.  Don't worry folks.. I'm working hard on it.. :)

5 years from now.. I want to be HAPPY...